Tag Archives: condom

Rain Rain Go Away

25 Jan

It is raining here behind the Orange Curtain.  No, no one melts here.  In fact, most people are made of plastic.  Peg Leg here does have an issue with the downpour though.  My foot cannot get wet until the doctor rips out those nasty stitches next week and I have an appointment this morning.  No worries about fabulous, VIP parking because I have a red disabled placard for the car which is both hysterical and humiliating at the same time.  However, this placard is not big enough to wrap around my boot for the walk into the building.

Do I don a kitchen trash bag around my boot for the walk across the street from the parking to the office?   I am kind of afraid people will think I am homeless or someone will recognize me and… oh my gosh the rumor mill around here is faster than a speeding bullet!  By the time my teenagers get home from school they will think their mother is a beggar or something worse involving the trash bag…Maybe I will wear a hoodie and borrow one of those big arrow signs people spin and dance with on the corner.  I can hide behind it as I limp with my trash bag across the street.  Incognito Peg Leg.

They make cast condoms that they sell for $40, but I could not go there…condoms are gross enough, I don’t want one on my leg.  I have an hour and a half to come up with a waterproof miracle.  Wish me luck.

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