In Absentia

5 Apr

When we get married, we know at some point we will have to step up.  We have to hold down the fort when our spouse is sick or out of town, we have to fill the shoes when one has a project that takes over.  Tonight I attended one of Sirskatesalot’s art openings at a gallery nearby…without him.  Princessenpointe was my date.  The four artists’ works looked great.  The gallery was packed, art was selling, music was playing…and one of the artists was on the other side of the country.  Work pays bills, so sometimes it trumps art openings.

Artists, the gallery owners and others we know noted the absence.  I was greeted like I usually am when I see these people.  Hug, smile, handshake.  But, instead of, “I’m so glad you could come” or “It’s great to see you guys.”  I heard, “We are so bummed Sirskatesalot couldn’t be here, but at least you could come in his place” or “I told Sirskatesalot you would be his stand in.”  Ahem.  It is enough work to be his wife and the mother of his teens.  Am I now also his stand in?  In addition to the fact that I am neither talented nor famous, I don’t really want that job.  Can’t I just be the boring wife taking pictures of the show he can’t attend?

I guess stand in is part of the job.  New jobs seem to crop up frequently after a couple decades of marriage…keep that in mind if you haven’t said your vows yet.  What you see is definitely not what you get…it is much, much more.  It’s not rough and I’m proud to do it.  However, I hardly fill the shoes.

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2 Responses to “In Absentia”

  1. dawndeshefy@gmail.com April 5, 2013 at 4:32 am #

    Fill the shoes, my a##! He wouldn’t be the success he is without you being the wind beneath his wings. How do you think Jim made Colonel? I was at home with Matt and working both our ALO jobs so he could be at Scott AFB. No regrets though. I don’t try to explain it when some Moms look at me, like, “you’re going to work again?” I just think to myself, yep, it’s my turn.

    Love you girl, And if only I remembered how to post this on the blog…….or maybe it’s better that I don’t remember……..as upon re-reading I sound a bit bitter.

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Nora April 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm #

    Oh but you are talented and I would never use “boring” as an adjective for you! As Sirskatesalot’s mother I can tell you he wouldn’t be where he is today if it weren’t for your love, encouragement, and personal sacrifice over the years. Plus I believe you are somewhat of a muse for him, and you are not a stand in but rather a partner. I am always so grateful that you two found each other, especially at such a young age, and you have grown together as partners and as individuals

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